I apologize to the hockey betting world for the above title, but we all know that’s what’s going through each of our minds after watching the trainwreck that was the Canadiens vs Bruins NHL odds. I’m assuming none of us saw it live — who was still watching that stinker after the second period — but we likely all saw Carey Price’s Patrick Roy impersonation when the Montreal faithful gave him the Bronx Cheer.

Sorry for the lack of sound, but you can hear the boos in your mind, right?

What do you hockey betting fans think of Price’s reaction?  It wasn’t as pathetic as Roberto Duran saying “No mas” in his boxing odds days, but it certainly wasn’t a proud moment. Bob Gainey understandably stood up for his goalie, saying he was “being bullied” and “fought back.” I can’t help but think Price would’ve showed much more strength by calmly soaking in the boos and remaining stoic (less “Roy vs Detroit,” more “Roy versus Florida when they threw rats at him in the 1996 Stanley Cup odds final). He’s on a slippery slope now if he makes the Montreal online betting fans his enemies.

Can Price bounce back in 2009-10 or will he become another Jose Theodore in M-T-L?

UFC 97 odds, NBA playoff picks, STANLEY CUP ODDS, sports … overload … brain … can’t … processs …. ARRRGGGH!

Sorry. Where was I? Ah, yes, it’s time to continue the Haiku NHL playoff picks. Onto the Western Conference.

DUCKS VS SHARKS ODDS

Ducks have been grounded

Shadows of their former selves

Sharks eat Duck l’orange

BLUE JACKETS VS RED WINGS ODDS

Reached Big Dance at last

On young Mason’s broad shoulders

Champs will spoil party

BLUES VS CANUCKS ODDS

How did they get here?

Youth movement started early

Roberto stymies

FLAMES VS BLACKHAWKS ODDS

Is Olli a curse?

Experience trumps young skill

Fire will burn brightly

…so, hopefully I haven’t lost all my NHL betting readers via this experiment. Please, come back! I was just clowning around!

Happy NHL playoff betting, folks.

What’s stranger: the Kentucky Derby odds, which, when you think about it, feature tiny men riding large, hairy animals in a circle for money, or the fact that I just decided to do my NHL playoff picks in Haiku form?

Here goes nothing. And hey — take these seriously. I still have your luck at the sportsbook in my heart.

CANADIENS VS BRUINS ODDS

The Habs are banged up

Beantown’s boys are big and mean

Centennial Fail

RANGERS VS CAPITALS ODDS

Ovie takes New York

Jose elevates his game

Caps bite Big Apple

HURRICANES VS DEVILS ODDS

Miracle Marty

Back to stymie the hot Canes

Legend continues

FLYERS VS PENGUINS ODDS

Philly sans goalie

Nope hope against Sid the Kid

March of the Penguins

.,.well, I hope you online betting fans enjoyed that, er, depature. Part II of my Haiku NHL playoff picks comes tomorrow…

Time for some real sports. UFC 97 odds come this weekend and, more importantly, the Stanley Cup odds get going this Wednesday night. The race for team sports’ hardest trophy to win begins and (even though I’m a Leaf fan) I’m beside myself with excitment. These NHL betting playoffs should be extremely difficult to predict thanks the to the crazy parity in the league.

Here are some reasons why I’m AMPED to see playoff NHL betting again, in random order:

SEEING THE BLUE JACKETS IN THE PLAYOFFS

As I said Friday, the Jackets truly deserved their ticket to the big dance and it will be interesting to see how they and their fans respond.

DA RIVALRIES

The battle of Pennsylvania should be closer this season for sure and we all can’t get enough of that classic Habs-Bruins rivalry. Do the Bruins finally have the team to break that online betting curse? Also, if Boston, Carolina, Washington and Pittsburgh win in the first round…the Pens and Caps will go to WAR.

NO MORE SINGIN’ THE BLUES

The Blues don’t get a ton of NHL betting fanfare, but players consistently sing the city’s praises and they sure have a good young team (add Erik Johnson and Alex Pietrangelo to that blueline next year…terrifying). The fans have earned a competitive team.

THE UNITED CENTER WILL BE A-ROCKIN’

Sticking with the warm, fuzzy, good-to-see-a-good-hockey-city-get-playoff-hockey-back theme, I’m VERY pumped to see the Chicago Blackhawks get their building ready again for NHL playoff action. They led the NHL in attendance this season and the state of Illinois saw a huge spike in hockey enrolment. It’s hard not to cheer for the Flames as a Canadian, but the Hawks are just so damn cool these days…

MARTY’S BAG OF TRICKS

Does Brodeur have another sportsbook miracle up his sleeve? It would be neat to see him add to his legend with another deep Stanley Cup betting run…

Stay tuned tomorrow for series picks!