You have to love Dana White’s UFC betting approach. If a fighter loses more than two bouts in a row, he almost always gets booted from the league, at least until he finds himself.

It seems the NHL betting universe treats things a bit differently. The Dallas Stars just hired Marc Crawford as their new head coach — a man who hasn’t won anything significant in quite some time (boxing betting does it too — the Holyfields, Tysons and Foremans of the world got second, third and fifth chances).

I really, really don’t want to knock Marc Crawford. I met him a few years ago at a celebrity golf tournament and he was the nicest guy there — total class act. I respect his understanding of the game, too. But, aside form his success with the Quebec Nordiques/Colorado Avalanche over 10 years ago, what has he accomplished?

Let’s look at his seasons with Vancouver from 1998-2006:

- Missed playoffs

- Missed playoffs

- First-round exit

- First-round exit

- Second-round exit

- First round exit

- Missed playoffs

Now, his most recent head coaching job with Los Angeles:

- Missed playoffs

- Missed playoffs

Pretty ugly. Now, in fairness to Crawford, he inherited bad teams in Vancouver and L.A., the kind that bled money at the offshore sportsbook, but it’s still concerning that he didn’t take those teams very far at all. I really like Marc and hope he succeeds — I think the Stars will be the best team at the start of his tenure since Quebec — but I wonder if he should’ve earned his way back as an assistant coach first.

I guess the Stars online wagering prospects have improved slightly, but Crawford needs to get some results fast.

Sigh. In Stanley Cup betting, the big question entering Game 7 will be whether or not the Penguins can mature.

i don’t know about the Penguins, but the Flyers sure can’t.

Ray Emery? RAY FRIGGIN’ EMERY?! Sheesh.

I’m not a total Emery hater and I’m not planning to harp on him for his off-ice issues today. This is just a silly move for the Flyers’ NHL betting hopes based on Emery’s skill level.

For two decades, the Flyers have iced contender after contender and seemingly never addressed their goaltending problem. Over and over, they try to plug a hole with a cheap grap (Martin Biron) or over-the-hill vet (John Vanbiesbrouck, Sean Burke). If pretty much anyone who likes to bet on sports can plainly see that the Flyers simply have to shell out cash for a marquee goalie if they want to win, why do they never figure it out?

Ray Emery. A respectable but unspectacular 2.71 career average and .907 save percentage. A man who allowed three or more goals four times in five games in 2007 Stanley Cup betting against the Ducks. Is he not just another Biron/Nittymakki/Chechmanek/Esche?

This one boggles my mind. It seems like an LA-Clippers type move. How are their NBA Final odds looking right now? Let’s revisit in 2020.

Like Rafer Alston in the NBA Finals odds, it seems Dany Heatley wants to crawl under a rock right now. Well, he at least wants out of Ottawa, as he apparently indicated today. Just one year through his six-year deal that pays him $7.5 million a season, he’s not exactly an easy piece to move on the trade market.

That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, though. My recommended destination: the Calgary Flames. Deal him straight up for Dion Phaneuf. Phaneuf makes $6.5 million a season and definitely seemed to wear out his welcome in Calgary after a horrible year in which he took silly chances with the puck and didn’t hit with his usual ferocity. NHL betting fans also probably know that he’s dating Elisha Cuthbert. If he went to Ottawa and joined Mike Fisher and Mike Comrie, we’d see Elisha Cuthbert, Hilary Duff and Carrie Underwood with boyfriends on one team! That would be worth sacrificing years of Stanley Cup betting appearances for Ottawa, right?

I’m betting management in Calgary considers this move…Brent Sutter just left the Devils and could very well return to Western Canada to join brother too (and Flames GM) Darryl. Also, most fans of betting online feel Mike Cammalleri is leaving town as an unrestricted free agent, so Heatley would fill his scoring void nicely.

Think about it, Calgary…everyone would win on that kind of deal.

What the eff, Penguins? Stanley Cup betting suddenly just got a lot less interesting. Everyone in the NHL betting hype machine was declaring the series a classic when, out of nowhere, the Pens lay a massive, rotten egg. Detroit scored first, the fans got involved, and the Pens just lost their cool.

Crosby and Malkin, taking dumb penalties? Letting their emotions get the better of them? Wasn’t this supposed to be the team that matured after last season? Wasn’t now supposed to be “their time” in NHL betting?

I still have faith that the Pens can rally in Stanley Cup betting. After all, they’re going back to comfy Mellon Arena. But if they really want to win this damn thing, they have to grow up and show some mental toughness in Detroit. You’re never gonna win one if you can’t keep your emotions in check on the road, fellas.

I’m like a parent, repeating myself. So I’ll stop now and just say GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Don’t give up on the Pens in online wagering quite yet. They have to have learned something from last year, right?

Just when you make French Open Finals betting your priority, the NHL fights back and gives us a great Stanley Cup series after all.

Much of last night’s exciting Penguins win seemed to be about legs. Is it just me, or was the Penguins’ youth very visible on the ice? It’s not that the Wings are totally ancient, but they definitely have a few guys who have been around the block a few times. The younger Pens are hitting them hard, skating circles around them, and that’s really shifted the NHL betting landscape. Suddenly, sportsbook bettors are piling on the Pens bandwagon.

A big reason why? Poor Henrik Zetterberg is dragging his feet. He hobbled around the ice, finally giving Sidney Crosby room to breathe, and the results were ugly for the Wings. We can’t blame Henrik — he’s playing his heart out — but he can’t do everything on his own. Marian Hossa has to step up, as do Johan Franzen and Tomas Holmstrom. We still don’t know if Pavel Datsyuk will come back in this series, so that means Zetterberg still has the task of shadowing Crosby.

Luckily for the Wings, there’s lots of time between games after Game 5. But the Red Wings’ Stanley Cup betting chances for the next game, even at home, don’t look so great. Sid and Geno are firing on all cylinders, so it may be smart betting management to stick with the Pens tomorrow night.

Am I great Belmont betting horse race jockey? Am I any more of a great hockey player? No. But that doesn’t mean I can’t give my boy Sid the Kid advice.

You know what? The Sid hating is really tiresome. Yes, he has the off-ice personality of unleavened bread, but he’s dynamic, creative player on the ice and, for all his whining, he’s not afraid to get physical at all. So forgive me for trying to help the “crybaby.”

Sid — I know you’re not a natural goal scorer, but you certainly can still score. You had 14 goals in the first three rounds of the NHL betting playoffs, for cryin’ out loud. What was the key? Well, let’s take a look at this SICK highlight video showing his goals vs Ovechkin’s in the second round of Stanley Cup betting. He’s like a tennis player in the French Open Finals odds — getting rid of the puck/ball as soon as it’s on his stick/racquet.

Goal 1 – One quick move into the center, laser wrist shot.

Goal 2 – rebound on the doorstep, immediately jams it in. Dwight Howard would be proud in NBA Finals betting.

Goal 3 – rebound on the doorstep, quickly tucks it in

Goal 4 – has about five whacks, wastes no time, takes about 4,508 shots in two seconds and finally puts it home

I could go on, but you get the picture. It’s all about the RELEASE — Crosby was wasting no time when he had the puck. Against Chris Osgood, he’s trying to do too much right now, dancing, stickhandling, giving Osgood time to cut down the angle on him.

SHOOT, Sid! Keep it simple, like you’re a thoroughbred chasing a carrot in the Belmont Stakes odds. It’s the key to your team’s online wagering hopes.

Sorry. I’m mentally loafing like Rachel “vacation” Alexandra in Belmont Stakes betting. BURN!

But what else can you say in a headline when you’re discussing a guy named Max?

Clap, clap, clap. Anyone who caught Stanley Cup betting on the tube last night probably saw that Pittsburgh’s Maxime Talbot was the best guy on the ice. Back checking, breaking up passes, going into the corner, scoring a couple of goals (hey — even the empty netter was kind of impressive…he shot it from far away!)…he was a force out there for the Penguins.

Some more reasons why Maxime Talbot is cool:

1. He’s scrappy. Gets by on hustle, speed, worth ethic, smarts.

2. Don Cherry loves him even though he’s French. What’s up with that?

3. He’s an impersonator. Remember when he put Crosby’s jersey on during a practice? What a trickster! And I thought Pete Rose was the crazy one for bettin’ on MLB odds.

4. He’s a LADIES’ MAN.

5. He DELIVERS YOUR TICKETS!

Uh, I kind of want to be Maxime Talbot now.  He’s cool and he’s a big reason why the Penguins’ NHL betting hopes just got a lot better. I’m betting management in Pittsburgh didn’t know how much they were getting when they first got this guy.

Hmpf. And I thought Nadal’s French Open odds upset was a surprise. Then came Montreal’s hiring of Jacques Martin. Was I alone in being floored by it?

Your team is coming off a turbulent season and you’re about to lose half your team to free agency, so you…hire a guy who has losing deep in his blood? Martin, the guy who guided countless Sens contenders who fell flatter than the World according to Columbus? The guy who accomplished zilch in Florida?

Hmph.

Am I just not thinking this through? One thing Martin has done reasonably well is turn last-place teams around. Well, he at least did that with the Sens in the mid 1990s. Maybe this is Montreal’s way of implying that they’re going to let a bunch of guys walk and rebuild?  Martin does teach a strong defensive game, too. And he pulled it off with goalies like Patrick Lalime, Ron Tugnutt and Damian Rhodes. So maybe he’ll help Carey Price get back on track in NHL betting.

Either way, I’m officially predicting to NHL betting fans that the Toronto Maple Leafs will finish above the Montreal Canadiens in the standings next year. I’ll put money down on it now. Bad betting management by me, or am I onto something? The draft will tell us more…

So much for knowing anything about NHL betting. Thanks, Chris. Thanks, Marc-Andre.

There I was on Friday, discussing Pittsburgh’s goaltending advantage, and both Osgood and Fleury make me look like an idiot.

The Red Wings appeared ready to start up a new Stanley Cup Final odds dynasty in Games 1 and 2. Brilliant gameplan — they fired shots at Fleury from every possible angle, with as many bodies in front of him as possible, never giving him clean looks. Now they’re in his head and he looks shaky. Osgood, on the other hand, not only saw everything shot at him, he was rock solid in stopping it. Was I wrong about the Penguins odds having a chance because of “better goaltending”?

Well, only time will tell. I think the Pens will bounce back in Game 3. But Fleury has to be better — and so do the defenseman protecting him, who are getting beat to the outside repeatedly. If not, Pittsburgh’s chances to come back are the same as mine if I was jockeying in the Belmont Stakes odds.