Here I am, happy to enjoy March Madness betting, knowing that my NHL betting team, the lowly Toronto Maple Leafs, doesn’t require viewing for the rest of the year. After all, it made its trade deadline moves, got some draft picks, and just has to coast out the rest of the online betting season and, hopefully, tank…right?

Well, this is what happens when a tough, plucky GM and tough, plucky head coach team up. You get a tough, plucky roster that never quits and seems determined not just to play NHL betting spoiler, but to make an irritating mock-run at the eighth Stanley Cup betting playoff spot — a pursuit that will culminate in a near miss for the third straight year.

If you’re a Leaf fan like myself, you have to at least be excited for the future by Ron Wilson’s coaching — if he’s guided this AHL-caliber roster to a 31-30-13 record, what could he do with guys who are good at playing hockey? Right now, though, this delusional surge is angering. I can’t fault the players — you just can’t tank on purpose — but seeing the draft lottery fade into the horizon is like seeing that gorgeous blonde you met at the bar slip away before you get her number.

John? Mr. Tavares? Wait, please! We didn’t mean it! We’re not actually good! We’re not gonna make the playoffs! COME BAAAAACCCCK!

Sigh.